Silence Hurts
Alcohol Abuse and Violence Against Women

Module 3: Understanding Violence Against Women - Page 10 of 13

Myths and Facts About Violence Against Women

Although violence against women is drawing more attention from the media and in research, many myths still exist. These myths can prevent women from receiving accurate, dependable treatment and assistance. The more informed we are about violence against women, the better able we are to help those around us with these problems. It is important to get the myths and facts straight.

  1. True or False?: Many women are abused in the United States.

    True: Abuse of a woman occurs about every 15 seconds in the United States. An estimated 3 to 4 million women in America are beaten each year by their husbands or partners.39,40

  2. True or False?: Alcoholism and physical abuse do not have anything in common.

    False: Alcoholism and physical abuse do share a few characteristics: (1) Both may be passed from generation to generation, (2) both involve denying there is a problem and trying to make the problem less important than it is, and (3) both involve isolation of the family.41,42

  3. True or False?: Violence inflicted by an intimate partner is only a momentary loss of control. It rarely happens more than once.

    False: According to the American Medical Association, 47 percent of men who beat their wives, girlfriends, or mothers do so at least three times per year.43,44

  4. True or False?: Victims of repeated violence must have a mental illness or "are crazy" to take the abuse.

    False: This mistaken idea goes back to the belief that anyone would have to be crazy or sick to take the abuse. Most female victims are not mentally ill, but those who are may also be abused by their partners or intimates. There are many reasons a woman does not just leave a violent situation, such as:

    • Dependence on her partner's money or earnings
    • Fear, shame, guilt
    • Family pressure to keep the marriage in tact
    • Cultural or religious reasons
    • Children,
    • Without any other place to go
    • Being socially isolated (abuser keeps the woman from interacting with friends and family so that she is emotionally dependent on him).

    Victims of violence often suffer psychological effects, such as posttraumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, or depression.45

  5. True or False?: Most abused women will leave their abuser.

    True: Most women do leave the violent conditions, although it may take several attempts to do so. Victims who seek and receive legal assistance at an early stage increase their chances of obtaining the protection they need to leave their abuser. A woman may have many reasons for waiting or she may make several attempts before leaving for good.46 Some of the reasons a victim may delay leaving include:

    • A sense of guilt or obligation when the batterer expresses remorse,
    • Hopefulness because the batterer is seeking treatment, or
    • Fear for her safety or for that of her children.

    The most dangerous time for a woman is immediately after she leaves the abusive home. Therefore, it is important for the woman to seek help in planning to leave safely (see Safety Planning).

  6. True or False?: Violence against women does not happen to older or disabled women.

    False: Any woman can become a victim of violence.

    • A teenager or young woman (aged 12 to 24 years) may be sexually or physically assaulted or abused by a stranger, acquaintance, romantic partner, or family member.
    • A woman (aged 25 to 55 years) may be assaulted or abused by her husband or ex-husband, boyfriend, partner, acquaintance, or stranger.
    • A woman who works outside the home may be assaulted or abused by a coworker.
    • An older woman (55 years or older) may be assaulted or abused by her children, husband, or ex-husband, caregiver, or a stranger.
    • Older and disabled women often are dependent on their family for support, shelter, and daily living requirements (e.g., medicine). Abuse may be physical or it may come in the form of neglect by the family member who is withholding assistance or food. This type of abuse goes largely unreported.47
  7. True or False?: Women who act or dress provocatively ask for rape.

    False: Women do not want to be raped. How a woman dresses or acts does not give a man permission to rape her. No means no.48

  8. True or False?: It is o.k. to force sex under certain circumstances-they paid for the date, have had sex before, etc.

    False: Paying for a date or for a gift does not give a person the right to demand sex. Even if the woman has had sex with the partner before, she still has the right to say no.49

  9. True or False?: Rape is more about power and control than sex.

    True: Rape is a violent crime, brought about by the need for power and control, not sex. Men who are misinformed about women or sex or who can only express their feelings of weakness, pain, and rage through sexual assault commit the most rapes.50

  10. True or False?: Men and women are the victims of intimate partner violence in equal numbers.

    False: Women make comprise nearly 85 percent of victims of all intimate partner violence. Twenty-two percent of all violent acts against women were from an intimate, whereas only 3 percent of violent acts against men were from an intimate.51

  11. True or False?: Most of the violence against women is actually committed by an intimate partner.

    True: According to the National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 76 percent of the women who have been raped and/or physically assaulted since age 18 were assaulted by a current or former husband, a partner with whom they live, or a date, compared with 18 percent of men.52

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